- Sure, you will look cool hunting zombies – for the 12 minutes before your dumb ass gets killed playing “super zombie hunter”
Sure it’s a zombie apocalypse, the undead are roaming the streets and shopping malls and it pisses you off. But hey – since when is it your personal responsibility to rid the world of the Zombie threat?
I am not saying that you shouldn’t kill every Zombie that you run into, just don’t go out looking for trouble. Heroes get killed, regular guys just trying to survive live to fight another day.
So the next time someone says “let’s get our Zombie killing on” tell them, “I’m good dude, I’ll stay here in the bunker”
Thanks to Shannon for giving us the idea for this rule
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- Unless you are Arnold Swarchenegger this wont work
It is a statistically proven fact that over 60 per cent of all deaths by zombie (DBZ) occur due to the victim, or the ‘eatee’ leaning his or her body against a door in a comedic effort to hold back an average of 800 pounds of frenzied undead thrust.
Sure, people may be attacked in cars or airport terminals, but be smart – if a hundred rotting undead creatures (“Hey! THAT one looks just like Aunt Bea!”) are rushing toward your house, slamming the door and leaning against it is NOT gonna do the job.
Witness all the old flicks in which people do exactly that and within seconds, zombified arms and heads are ripping through the door, the sheetrock walls, the windows.
The person who really wants to be prepared for zombie (or any other unwelcome guest) incursions, learns that using very large, inexpensive clay flower pots placed around one’s door and porch area, can be made into very serviceable Claymores which guarantee results! Zombies with shredded bodies cannot menace the prepared Zombie Ranger!
Note: thanks to J3 for this Zombie Rule. To the other guys that sent in new rules thanks a ton and yours will be up soon.
If you have a rule to submit please click HERE
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- This doesn’t even look remotely safe you dumb-ass
Seriously, how many people have to be chased down and eaten wile trying to run away from Zombies in the woods. Even better, people go into the woods at night – smart move genius, now not only are you on uneven terrain, its so dark you cant see
In the Zombie infected world the woods are only for deer and people who want to be eaten
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- Don’t forget – flamethrowers only work if you are wearing a WW2 costume
Sure initially the idea of torching down a row of Zombies sounds like a good idea, you imagine dozens of Zombies Stop-Drop-and-Roiling wile groaning in agony.
Well it doesn’t work like that, Zombies probably wont even notice that they are on fire and just keep on walking until they not only eat you alive – you will burn to death at the same time.
Read More Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Use a Flamethrower >>>
809 views
- It’s a good thing I brought this bottle of water to the shoot-out
If things have gotten so bad that you had to dump (or ran out of ammo) your main gun (a longun) then just having one backup isn’t enough. Cuz if you have burned through 12 – 30 round M-4 Mags and you are still in the fight then you better have enough extra firepower to cover your retreat from the Zombie carnage.
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- Sorry – I couldn’t think of anything funny to say about the helmet
It would totally suck if you survived the Zombie Apocalypse then tripped and cracked your head open wiles scavenging. Soldiers, construction workers and extreme sports guys wear a helmet for a reason – so they don’t split their noggin.
You don’t have to get a Kevlar army helmet (but if you can great), a skateboarding helmet is fine and by far the best – the construction style helmet is not what you are looking for – you need a helmet with a chin strap.
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