From the category archives:

1000 Rules For Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

RULE 995: Don’t Go Looking For Zombie Trouble

March 26, 2010

Sure it’s a zombie apocalypse and the undead is roaming the streets and shopping malls and it pisses you off. But hey – since when is it your personal responsibility to rid the world of the Zombie threat?

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RULE 996: Leaning Against a Door Will NOT hold the Zombie Hoard Back

March 19, 2010

It is a statistically proven fact that over 60 per cent of all deaths by zombie (DBZ) occur due to the victim, or the ‘eatee’ leaning his or her body against a wooden door in a comedic effort to hold back an average of 800 pounds of frenzied undead thrust.

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RULE 997: Stay Out of the Woods

March 12, 2010

Seriously, how many people have to be chased down and eaten wile trying to run away from Zombies in the woods. Even better, people go into the woods at night – smart move genius, now not only are you on uneven terrain, its so dark you cant see

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RULE 999: Carry 3 Guns

February 16, 2010

It’s a good thing I brought this bottle of water to the shoot-out

If things have gotten so bad that you had to dump (or ran out of ammo) your main gun (a longun) then just having one backup isn’t enough. Cuz if you have burned through 12 – 30 round M-4 Mags and you [...]

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RULE 1000: Wear a Helmet

February 15, 2010

Sorry – I couldn’t think of anything funny to say about the helmet

It would totally suck if you survived the Zombie Apocalypse then tripped and cracked your head open wiles scavenging. Soldiers, construction workers and extreme sports guys wear a helmet for a reason – so they don’t split their noggin.
You don’t have to get [...]

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